God continues to be Faithful

A few weeks back I confessed to you that I wasn't ready to hold another baby when I already had one to hold. And so I feel that is my duty to share with you how God has spoken to my soul and brought me forward from that though.
I completely broke down in tears more than once last week that I had no desire to work hard to deliver this baby, to hold this baby, or to nurse this baby. While preparing to do my Bible study, Psalms of Ascent by Beth Moore, God spoke to my heart that He giving me this child is

NOT ABOUT ME! 

Instead this child is about God's specific plan. God has appointed this child's birth for March 2012 so that he will be the right age at the right time for God's use. God is giving me this child to raise for Him and His purpose. I am His instrument. God wants this child to be a part of my family and He has my best interest in mind; therefore, having a son so close in age to Matthias is in my best interest!
I let out a sigh of relief after God gently spoke these thoughts to me, but He had more to tell me! That day's work in the Moore study was in Pslams 123. I keyed in on verses one and two.

I life my eyes to You,

The One enthroned in heaven.

Like a servant's eyes on His master's hand,

like a servant girl's eyes on her mistress's hand,

so our eyes are on the Lord our God

until He shows us favor. 

And what did God faithfully reveal to me in these verses? 

To "Look at Me" during labor and delivery. I am giving you this child. I will see you through the labor and nursing and raising four children, BUT YOU MUST LOOK TO ME!"

God then took my eyes to Psalm 30:10-11.

Hear, O Lord, and be gracious to me;

O Lord, be Thou my helper.

Thou has turned for me my mourning 

into dancing (I will literally dance my way through labor as I did with Matthias).

Thou has loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness [for this child]. 

If you've been with me since the birth of Matthias 15 months ago, then you know how much of a spiritual high his birth was for me. God has faithfully reminded me where I need to put my focus - on Him and not me - in order to pull me through the delivery of our fourth child. 

Not only do I look forward to the unity with God in delivering our child, but I also GREATLY look forward to the unity that happens between Scott and I. I can't tell you how much he is now in tune with the rhythm of my body during labor. It's a blessing. I look forward to seeing my husband's big and strong arms swallowing our newborn in those first few hours.